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Asserting oneself - gently and kindly
Watch how you behave in daily life. If you think you are strong and competent – which you may in fact be, and that’s fine – do not seek to assert yourself on the pretext that you need to be acknowledged. Why? Because you arouse in others the need to confront you. At first they may be impressed and respect you, even fear you… But while you think you have imposed your authority, they will secretly be doing all they can to arm themselves against you. And you will be the one who has provoked this desire – they will have followed your example. Those who display their strength stir up the aggressive instinct in others. You don’t know what means people can resort to when a so-called superior has humiliated them with their scornful attitude, curt tone of voice or wounding words. You will gain true authority by cultivating kindness, gentleness and patience. Others may misinterpret your attitude initially; they will imagine you are incompetent or weak, and they will try to take advantage of the situation. But persevere, and soon they will have to recognize your authority and your skills, and then you will gain not only their respect but also their friendship.
Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov