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Love - criterion for determining how authentic it is
The subject of chastity and continence is generally badly addressed by religion. Why? Because in reality, the act of lovemaking is in itself neither good nor bad: it is simply what men and women are able to make of it. If they have not worked on themselves to become purer, nobler and more enlightened, they will only communicate certain negative influences to their partner through the act of lovemaking. True love should improve everything in the person you love – it should uplift them, make them stronger and more radiant. Whether it is then expressed physically or not is secondary. You can love someone without ever touching them yet still poison them with your love. There is therefore only one question you should be asking yourself to determine the quality of your love: is the person you love blossoming because of it? If they are becoming sickly and weak and losing their love for life, ask yourself what you have done to harm this creature. You should have taken care of them as you would a garden flower, and there is nothing for you to be particularly proud of. The only thing you can do now is find out how you can repair your errors. The love you give must make the other person grow. Only when you see that they are blossoming thanks to your love can you then be glad and thank the heavens.
Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov